Children with Anxiety

by Stacy M.
(Kansas)

Does anyone have any suggestions for the debate of homeschooling versus public school for children with anxiety? I am a single mother, but I work from home, so I am confident I could homeschool. My 6-year-old is suffering from anxiety and occasional panic attacks. She seems to fear social situations with too many kids (i.e. cafeteria) or getting lost (i.e. at recess, finding bathroom).

Teacher flat told us no about "extra support" for her, like having an older child walk her to cafeteria or bathroom. She is seeing a therapist for her anxiety.

My dilemma is, would I be helping or hurting her by homeschooling. I've read the advantages/disadvantages of homeschooling pages. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has history of anxiety in their kids and whether they found homeschooling helpful? My feeling is she needs more time and maybe sports or field trips would be better, less scary socialization.

Any suggestions or guidance is appreciated! Thank you!

Diane's Reply to Children with Anxiety:

Stacy,

I have no experience in this arena, so I am posting it with the hope that someone with experience will share. Because each child is different, you and your therapist would know what is best for your daughter. But suggestions are certainly welcome! Anyone?

Comments for Children with Anxiety

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Socializing in public school
by: Faye

Socializing in public school these days is the worst thing that can happen to an innocent child's mind and heart. I wish I had never let my 6th grade daughter set foot in a public junior high school. The language the kids use is definitely not taught in school. I drive a school bus for public schools and see and hear a lot. The drugs, sex, and language is unbelievable. I want to home school her bad; so far she has refused. I am homeschooling her 10 yr. old brother and he loves it. ADHD meds are not the answer to a child's learning. Love and patience is something that no public school teacher can give your child the way you can. I was told by a physical therapist a school receives $350.00 per child who is on ADHD medication. I haven't researched it although I can see that happening. I have only just started homeschooling this October and I see a big change in the 10 yr. old. I took him off of all medication and his anxiety has pretty much disappeared. He's much calmer and happier. The curriculum we use is Lighthouse Academy Ace, and we love it.
Highly Sensitive Child & Socialization
by: Jennifer

Hi,

My daughter is 8 years old and is very sensitive and can have anxiety around large crowds and loud noises. My daughter and I will always prefer to be deep in the woods over being in the middle of a shopping mall.

She has never been to public school. I'm glad I can give her the freedom of homeschooling. I just see it as going back to a more natural, instinctive, community-based way of living.

My concern for socialization is for schools, not real life. Where did we get the idea that humans need to be admitted to an institution with peer submersion to build adequate relationships? Probably from the government and schools themselves. :) I want her to be socialized by quality, not quantity. I want her to love others, not just be willing to tolerate them during class.

As far as anxiety, I have helped her work her way through challenging situations with "difficult" people (and her own personal struggles) *as they happen* and typically I am near enough to the situation to know what's going on and how to best respond. This is something that would not likely be handled appropriately (or at all) during school. I support her to learn to solve disputes herself.

This builds her relationships with others and her parents and she is strengthened and better equipped to handle her emotions. She learns how to love and forgive and not just be defensive and competitive.

Actually, occasionally playing with school kids has given her plenty of opportunities for honing these skills. ;) It makes her stronger and builds character. I draw the line at obviously inappropriate company that would corrupt or pollute her mind and emotions, etc.

I'm amazed at how strong and resolute my daughter has become in wanting to return to children who have been very unfriendly and hurtful to make things right and improve their relationship instead of running away for good.

So, not drowning in the immature, selfish, and sometimes hostile school environment does not mean our children will be completely shielded from anything negative or "different". It's a part of life, real life, and our world. Public schools are not the gold standard for socialization or even education.

Parenting (homeschooling is a natural part of parenting) has allowed me to grow and learn *with* my daughter. We are alike in many ways and as I learn to deal with life myself, I am able to help her navigate it all.

Being social is supposed to be a natural aspect of living among people. The solution for socializing is still as simple as it's always been; be purposeful, meet people, and get involved.

A good start is to meet with other homeschoolers at a park each week. You can find them online or visit the most family-friendly parks in your area on a beautiful Thursday morning. There's a good chance you'll find another family there. Reach out to your community. :-D
Anxiety
by: Anonymous

My son is just finishing 2nd grade and suffers anxiety. He has asked me to home school him many times for three years and I have not been able to do it. I am now in a situation in which I would be able to pull it off strategically.

I know his anxiety is from overcrowded classes and other issues even though he is well liked and has friends. My only hesitation is that I would be depriving him of important social learning skills and activities.

It is good to see these posts and know that we are not alone. I feel instinctively that he would thrive in some ways at home and in others he could become more shut down.

We shall see how the summer goes.

Reply to Anxiety:

Thank you for posting your concerns. I can understand your hesitation regarding the socialization issue. My response to that is I would much rather have my children learn from a more mature role model for their socialization skills. They cannot get that from their peers. Hope that helps.

All the best to you!
Anxiety
by: Anonymous

My son also has anxiety ....I started homeschooling him this year 4th grade...it has been a great thing for him....he is happy now and he is learning so much more..less stress = more learning....the public school offered NO help and had little compassion.....only you know what is best....when you choose to homeschool....you are just choosing a different path for learning but the end result is the same if not in my opinion BETTER!!! God Bless and good luck :-)
Children with anxiety
by: Anonymous

My daughter is now 15 years old but has suffered from anxiety in situations where there are a lot of people starting in the second month of kindergarten. She was fine at first, but into the second month, we would get out of the car and she would just freeze. I would have to coax her and push her along and eventually it took so long to get her to walk into school that we were always late. The last day I sent her, the principal picked her up and walked off with her down the hall and she was screaming and reaching for me. I feel so guilty for not grabbing her and running away from the school with her right then.
If your child is anxious about school, someone is making her feel that way, and she just can't tell you. My daughter could not tell me until years later. Homeschooling is the best option. Then you know exactly how your child is being treated. You have all the control.

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